A taste of "Secrets"

I had a brainstorm this morning, or perhaps it was a brain fart but I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the results are from this "idea" that popped into my head.  I've been mulling it over all morning and I have come to the conclusion that I have to stop limiting myself and just put it out there for any and all to catch a glimpse of; to see if there might be a spark of interest that could be fanned into a hungry flame with the potential of a raging inferno.  I'm talking about posting a very small passage of my completed manuscript titled Secrets in Bethlehem on this blog. 
As this is my baby, and I its mother, I am very proud of my finished work. Seeing as how it is the first of my creative endeavors I realize that a published author with years of successes under their belt would beg to differ.  I am a novice; I admit it.  I have no resume to speak of and this is my first foray into this arena but I have been told that I am very tenacious.  I will accept any and all creative, and constructive suggestions from those who have been in the business and have learned what is needed to become a successful published author. I have taken fiction writing classes, creative writing workshops, correspondence writing courses and read insatiably.  I know that writing a best seller right out of the gate is not an every day occurrence and I have no delusions of this happening. I do, however, intend to see one of my fiction creations in print.
A word to those who suggest a "Vanity Press" or self publication: NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!! My ego is healthy and I may be a little obsessive when it comes to my writing, but not to that point and my wallet doesn't allow for that type of self-indulgence.  I have more respect for my gift as a writer even if no one else does at this point.  Perhaps I am being naive about it  in this economy but there you are.
Anyway, here is a little snippet of one of the several high impact scenes:

                                                              Secrets in Bethlehem
                                                                      Written By:
                                                                     Kate Donns

. . . Travis broke through the closed door at the end of the hall like a human battering ram.  Leading with his shoulder the wooden door, weakened by age and neglect, splintered and gave under the brutal force. He stopped dead as though he had hit an invisible wall.  A tall, powerfully built man with a scar slashing his left cheek from eyebrow to chin stood behind Janey, one arm around her neck, holding her close to his chest the other holding a gun to her temple. An ugly purple bruise was starting to form on her cheekbone.  The sight of that evidence of abuse had Travis’s blood seething, hissing an oath between clinched teeth.

 Her head was tilted slightly to the side at an unnatural angle and Travis could hear the breath as it heaved out of her lungs fast and harsh.  In the dim light he could see the courage in Janey's eyes where he had thought he would see fear; not in his Janey, he decided and it filled him with wonder. It filled him with the need to put his hands around the throat of the man who held her and squeeze the life out of him for putting that gun to her head. For putting his hands on her.

            “Drop the guns on the floor and kick them to me.  All we want is the kid.”  Bogarde said.  “Give him to me and you can all go free.  No harm done.” Bogarde knew that Jasper had to be dead.  The two gunshots he’d heard and the two men standing in front of him were proof of that and realized his chances of getting out alive had drastically decreased.

            “Don't hurt her.”  Travis begged as he lowered and carefully set Jasper's gun on the floor in front of him. “Look.  I'm putting down the gun.  Now let her go.” Do what he says, Travis thought, and keep him distracted.  There had to be a way out of this; he couldn’t lose Janey. Not after all they had been through.

            “Just tell me where the kid is.”  Bogarde demanded as he pushed the gun hard against Janey's temple.  “All I want is the kid.” Sweat beaded across the man’s forehead, dripped down his face.  Travis could almost smell the fear emanating from the man holding Janey and that wasn’t good.  Desperate men tended to take desperate measures.

            The soft, sweet voice saying, “Travis?” came from behind him.  It broke through Travis's concentration.  He whirled around to see Jesse standing in the door way and sick dread lodged in Travis's throat, terror and fury such as he had never known before, gripped him stopping time, all but stopping his heart. . .

Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.  I'll be looking for your comments and suggestions.
Thanks again,
Kathy